Things like really helping out no questions asked. For example putting someone up for a few days while they move, or physically help them move, teach them how to do stuff etc. I know a few people that do this for not too close girl friends with no ulterior motives, most of the time But if you were a guy you would need to be a damn good friend to even consider asking. Is the impression I have, although to be fair I never asked.
Ah, okay so now I understand what you mean.
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It could just be us guys psyching ourselves out. People are more willing to help than you think and all it takes is to ask. But really, it can go either way. Plus, you have to remember most guys do have ulterior motives or at least have some sort of desire. Kind of went off on a tangent there, may get some disagreements, but those are some of my thoughts. Good friends are not easy to find. Sometimes you can feel closer to your friend than to your family. Although most people would disagree with your last sentence, I actually would side with you there!
My first response to your article, my friend! I came here because I have really hurt a good friend recently, and I felt like I needed to come here to remember the foundations of a good friendship. I can say some really mean things and not even notice it or notice how it affects other people.
I think perhaps what has happened recently to me was a huge wake up call. Thanks a lot, Vincent. Sorry to hear about your experience. Hope everything works out with your friend. I am lazy when it comes to being a good friend. Sorry to have taken up so much space. Any more advice you have would be great. Personality transplant available anywhere? Paula, I was the exact same way!
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How could you possibly know that? Maybe your social graces have improved a bit? Hah,I still have the habit of interrupting people. I get so excited I just want to get my words out there. Again, practice. True, which is why we have to be careful to avoid being a pushover. Am i a bad friend? But somehow I always get picked last.
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Two girls are shitty friends to two of my best friends but they are more popular than I am so they can be two faced and still every single time a concert comes up they crapy friends get picked over me. Is it still fair? Sorry for putting in two different concerns in one! I do want to save these friendships. I am a 13 year old chick and I take forever to reply to my best friend of 7 years texts lately I used to reply in seconds.
A friend like you is hard to find
I am worried it will be the end of a beautiful relationship… Any advice at all? Please reply! Please Vincent, help me fix myself. Hi Vincent, I have serious concerns about my ability to be a good friend which seemed to develop after I became a paraplegic at age I put forth a lot of effort to grow friendships; asking to hang out outside of work, I tell them how they are the closet thing I have as friends.
The others range from mid 40s to late 50s. Any advise? Check out meetup. Vicent I am glad you reply all these people not an easy work at all, I think you really are a good friend. Yeah my first time. Thanks for sharing. This is not what I thought it was.
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My whole being is falling apart, I need more than this to fix it. Hi, such great insights here, listening is an important factor too, this will reassure your friend to let him or her know that you care.
Great Read. Hi, I have a story to tell about friendship. Hope that you can tell me am I doing this right or not. We started to get and clicked with each other very quickly messaged each other daily and started to meet up after 2 weeks. Since then we have even meetups more frequently at least twice a week for the last 9 months. But things got a dramatics change after we have got our 1st serious argument 3 months ago.
She started to treat me a little cold and started criticizing or blaming things on my actions and behaviors towards her making her feeling uncomfortable to be with me, but still we did go out together and still do enjoy the company. Just each time she will have things to criticize on and I just bear it with me as I really do cherish her.
But things gotten bad last week where we had our biggest argument and she has been ignoring me. Within this 9 months, actually I have been doing my best liked when she needs company, I will apply for leave to accompany her, when she needs help to get the things she needed urgently, I will go search and get it immediately for her, when she needed a listener and brought her around when her colleague makes her sad.
Anyhow, I really do treasure her as a friend. Hi Vincent, I would give up anything just to get her back. Many of my friends would say that she is definitely a bad friend which is just being a self-centered person. To me, she is someone whom did listen to me when I am being grumpy on things happening around me and did think hard to help me find solutions though she might sometimes putting it in a hard way. Throughout this 9 months, actually we have been messaging without even missing a day. Please help me.
I really wanna celebrate that with her. Hi: Thank you for this post.
I can never make any friends and I always wonder what is wrong with me. Hopefully I can utilize some of your advice. This helped me and my friend solve many of our differences: Thank you so much..!! Its weird how we already know some of these basic points in the back of our heads and still end up doing injustice to them.. Being lonely is a worst thing.
It destroys my studies. That was really helpful thank you so much. However, i think respect is really important in friendships. People can make wrong decision for them self but when they have a good friend by them to suport them and respect their opinions no matter what that can be helpful in a way. Is that right??? And also when someone have something bad and they know it they need help to improve it. But u can remind them every time, yeah it will be boring but it will be nice to look after them …that also doesnt mean that u always need to do it for them.
I apologised first. She said that I was a suck up.
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